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Do this until it pushes your comfort zone and then some. But it’s okay to “mess up”, that’s part of the learning process.Stage 5: Use your relaxed focus and 10 rules on every person you have a personal or intimate interaction with, especially women you’re interested in. If you haven’t figured out the secret to good eye contact yet, it’s because there isn’t one.Relaxed eyes occur when you’re at your most comfortable.And relaxed does not mean uninterested or unfocused.We need to overcome the anxiety you feel when looking at someone’s eyes.We’re going replace that flight response of “OMG avert eyes now! We do this through repetition in progressively more challenging stages.
If we’re in narrow, focused, evaluative attention—imagine viewing the world through the eyes of a police officer—our stress system will be on constant, low-grade alert.
Charismatic eye contact means switching to a softer focus.
This immediately relaxes our eyes and face, and quiets down our stress system.
Stage 4: Use your relaxed focus and 10 rules on every person you have a casual interaction with.
This may be cashiers, baristas, tellers, mailmen, professors, etc.