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I love reminiscing about how craft beer tasted better before it went mainstream.

I like talking about how 'the books were better than the movies’ for just about every item on the shelves here. I am a creature of habit, whose deli order is known off by heart at my local Centra.

I’m always reminding my friends of all the I still go on about that time I shared an elevator with Bono. I talk about how technology is making us all anti-social whilst Instagramming every single thing I see.

So to prepare you for this crucial call, we've prepared a guide to (pretty much) every first date spot in the city, along with a handy explanation of what your companion will think when you suggest it. I’m bringing you here because it’s loud and dark and I don’t actually want to hear nor see you. Watching it on TV I mean, I don’t believe in doing actual exercise.

I suck at small talk and will probably resort to commenting on how slick the furnishings are.. I look nothing like my Tinder pics so I’m actually locking you in a room with me, I have 60 minutes to show you it’s what’s on the inside that counts. And yes, we opened for the Coronas in 2010 so we’re kind of a big deal. I know how this place's name is actually pronounced, and that seems like a fairly safe conversation starter.

With so many habitats and distractions, this is the perfect place to while away an afternoon.

The Africa Savannah is READ: Here's Our Take On The 10 Dishes You Should Have Mastered By The Time You Hit 30You want to show them that you're all cultured and shit, so bring them to the museum.

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