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Instead I look away, choosing to use reason and rationale to explain away my unspoken fears.
I take care of my grandson because my daughter has to work two different jobs every day.
I came from a big family, with seven other siblings, and being the oldest child, my parents tasked me with the care of my younger brothers and sisters while they were at work in the vegetable fields.
This was back in the early '70s, and we were living in a kampung, in a tiny wooden hut, surrounded by large families in similar circumstances, living with the bare minimums.
He was a quiet, solitary boy, which I somehow mistakenly equated to reticence and good-naturedness.
Because my parents worked most of the day, and I was put in charge of my siblings, I had to grow up fast, to take up certain responsibilities, even before I was ten.