Long dating before talk
If you haven’t convinced them of how remarkably brilliant you are after this time, what’s going to change?
You could end up torturing yourself trying to make yourself worthy of them, or hang around in the hopes that they’ll change their mind, only to be left disappointed.
If you say it at the wrong time, it can destroy any chance of a future relationship – but the same thing can happen if you wait too long. Well, a recent study done by both Zoosk and revealed something a little bit surprising about when to make things official.
They took a look at over 1,000 girls and 1,000 dudes and this is what they found: 25 percent of women think that you should wait “at least a few months” before making things legit, while 43 percent of guys thought “it takes a couple of good dates.” So, how do know when to make your sort-of-relationship an official relationship? Here’s something important that you need to remember: you have every right to ask the dude you’ve been hooking up with what he wants and if he’s interested in being your boyfriend. I’m siding with the guys here: it’s best to wait until after a couple of great dates and hang out seshs.
Are you interested in getting serious or are you not looking for anything like that? Another important thing to keep in mind: going into this, you need to know what you want. Don’t settle for something you don’t want just to be with him in some way!
Basically, this is a conversation that needs to happen. They’re stressed because they have no clue what this dude wants because they’re too scared to say what they want. So, for lack of a better choice of words, man up and have The Talk with your guy after a few weeks of dating.
Obviously there are always exceptions to this rule – bad past relationships or life priorities outside of dating can always delay things – but the undeniable truth is that if someone wants to be with you, they won’t make excuses not to be.
It’s totally normal to want to hedge your bets and hold off for a while, though – you don’t want to come across as pushy, and everyone moves at different speeds.
I just want to know what you want out of this relationship? Don’t be like, “Oh, okay, we can be friends with benefits” and secretly hope he’ll change his mind. As much as it sucks, you may need to cut ties with him if things don’t go well. And then it happens, the most terrifying thing of all: you meet someone you actually really like, and that’s where the real difficulty begins.You can see it there on the horizon – the whole “So where’s this going? The dating game has changed dramatically, and while it used to be as simple as a quick conversation along the lines of “OK, so we like each other, let’s make this official”, there is now a list of new stages in a fledgling relationship that can seem to make things more confusing.However, if it gets to a stage where you think you’re being taken for a ride, just talk to them.The best-case scenario is that they’ll want to be with you; the worst is that they don’t and they’re still seeing other people.