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It is only when they go into withdrawal that they are treatable.Sometimes they will kill their partner, sometimes the affair, sometimes both of them. There was an incident here where I live where a young woman was married to a policeman and had two little babies.Is there a personality type that is more susceptible than another?Pia Mellody: What makes people more susceptible is simply neglect. You can be the king — or queen — of the world, but if you have neglect, this type of thing is going to go on, although people may not recognize it for what it is.The fantasy usually takes the form of being rescued by – it is like Cinderella — a knight in shining armor or a wonder woman, who will take care of them and help them come out of their dilemma of being too alone and worthless and not knowing what to do.They will put that face of fantasy over the face of someone who comes into their life and is walled-in, non-relational and shut down. Then they go into the fantasy and somehow who the person really is will show up and they go into withdrawal from the fantasy.
Harris is still in prison and her sons were placed with family friends. If someone isn’t an extreme case, can they just attend a group similar to AA without checking into rehab?
Is there something that people can recognize in themselves or their family should recognize?
Pia Mellody: This is what goes on with them: First of all, when you are getting neglected and you are spending a lot of time alone, what happens is you don’t know what it means to be connected or relational to other people.
You spend a lot of time alone daydreaming and making up fantasies in your head that make you feel better because what you are making up in your head in fantasy will chemically change your body and create a sense of joy or relief.
That [chemical change] is what they are actually addicted to.