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he can eat his own toes, he can grab his toy cloth pig, he can boob-hunt, he can wiggle around, he can even kind of play piano…i just meant, obviously, that he can’t change his diaper by himself, or be coordinated enough to stop from falling off a thing once he starts to fall off. well not quite an argument but i’ve actually always wondered if it’s “jury-rigged” or “jerry-rigged”, because i hear people say both, and i’m so confused that i say both all the time. It’s a nautical term of unknown origin, and in its early use it usually appeared in the phrase jury mast, referring to a temporary mast put up to replace one that has been lost. the truth is more awful, i was also doing more than peeing. i was downstairs in the house, and upstairs were allan amato and olga nunes, who had asked me if they could come by and interview me for their documentary about art. i could hear him cry from the bathroom, which was about 15 feet away… i ran over, with my heart in shreds, wondering if maybe i would have a paralyzed baby, or at least a baby with a broken bone. the worst LONG moment was probably that time in 1996 i had the worst hangover of my life, maybe i’ll do that song next. 10 here’s how it happened, and i’ll even come clean about the time it happened in new york, like a month later.

says: “A little-used definition of jury is intended or designated for temporary use. the irony of all this is that you can watch the interview, which was filmed about 15 minutes after this all happened. 7 he managed to push himself, for the first time, with his arms, to the edge of the table. i spent the next day in a kind of a shivering shock, checking his body for possible broken bones or wrong things. 12 mind you – this is a GIGANTIC shopping mall parking lot.

note that i am being a really big person and not making some cheap shot joke about the baby being the thief here. 11 this was in sarasota, so the song is out of order. the original lyric was the truth: it wasn’t a safeway, it was a Publix. the hilarious thing is that i was getting it confused with the supermarket in L. but no, neil confirmed, it was the Publix in sarasota where i accidentally stole the chapstick. we were working on the song in his houseboat and he was like, “what’s a publics?

so i improvise, and i’ve found his entire car seat fits into most grocery carts. it means i can park the car, run to the place where the shopping carts are, run back to the car, insert the baby, and then wheel him around the store. i now check the baby REALLY carefully before i leave the store. 13 this is the truth, and in my defense i have walked BACK into stores on at least a dozen occasions in my life when i got like halfway down the street and realized i was still holding the pen/chapstick/banana/whatever in my hand that i forgot to put on the checkout counter. it had taken so much drama to get the groceries and the baby out to the car.

short story: jason and i challenged each other to write 11 songs last week in seattle, i wrote one, and the next day, jason recorded it in his houseboat. just listen.) fact, and every writer will back me up, short things are harder to write than long things. this is a GESAMTKUNSTWERK, folks, even though it only has a few chords, you got me? i’d always thought i’d name a boy after anthony, because of how much anthony meant to me in my life, but only if he was dead. we liked dash, but art and francoise’s son was dash. 17 here’s a lie: the Von’s (which was the Safeway, which was the Publix) was actually only like two miles from my cousins’ house in california where i was late to be the time that i thought i was remembering when i wrote the song. but the run to the publix, which is the safeway, which was the actual story, i think i actually only spent like . katherine is my main cousin there and then there was robert, who died just after anthony, who once played ukulele on the beach with me (), and gus, and guy and michelle, and betsey, and maureen and maddy, and frank, and annie, and brent, and grant, and mac…and more. 18 what’s weird here is when i wrote the song and was remembering the wrong supermarket, it was actually a grocery run i did of like 0 because it was all the stuff for christmas day. jason was like: “do you see what’s floating down the river? red bass drums just float down the river and call to you when you wake up in the morning and you get in your canoe and go rescue them. and that’s the drum that jason saw FLOATING DOWN THE RIVER OUTSIDE THE HOUSEBOAT the first morning we woke up there. i stood there holding the baby thinking that this sort of thing probably happens to you every morning if you’re jason webley.

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