The most intimidating fans

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The Jags' fanbase is to the NFL what the G-spot is to many men: they know it exists somewhere, but it’s so tiny and hard to find that after a while they just give up.

They're the NFL's least obnoxious fans in large part because they BARELY exist. Considering how insufferable you should be having tasted success without paying any dues, you're surprisingly not that bad.

But, hey, it’s a big city, and it's football, and it’s an excuse to go grill something on a Sunday, so why not?

And since you're all just kind of Texans fans by default, nobody gets too worked up about things.

Telling someone you’re a Lions fan is basically an extension of telling someone you’re from Detroit.

And the response is generally the same: people just feel kind of bad for you and want to tell you that everything’s going to be okay, even though they know they can’t say that with any confidence.

episode where Hank and the gang kinda grudgingly go watch the Texans practice, because it’s a lot closer than the Cowboys and they figure, hey, it’s football? Hell, they’re not even Houston’s team, since THAT team plays in Nashville.

Probably because you recognize that everyone still knows you as the team with orange pants.

If you thought of 10 things in the world that would make you sit outside for four hours in 110-degree temperatures, none of them would be “watching Neil Lomax.” But kudos to Cards fans, you spent 18 years getting cooked on Sundays in Sun Devil Stadium as your team earned a whopping one playoff appearance.

And despite a relatively futile past dotted with greatness (Steve Bartkowski. But there is good news: your Bond villain of an owner is going to put you out of your misery soon and move the team to Los Angeles.

You can partially blame the Whale’s Private Parts' glorious weather for diluting the fanbase, as the area now mostly consists of Jets and Pats and Eagles fans right out of college in PB along the beach, and Jets and Pats and Eagles fans right out of the workforce in the golf course communities in North County.

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