Things to ask when you first start dating
There aren’t hard and fast rules about what’s a good vs. Research has shown that the most effective communication style in relationships is a flexible one. Why: This is primarily relevant if you're either an extreme night or an extreme morning person. The examples below are intended to stimulate your own ideas rather than as rules. Why: Is the person about to make any major life changes e.g., leave their 0K/year job to go back to school? Do they see it as a job, a vocation, or are they primarily motivated by climbing the career ladder? When it comes to dating, it seems you can find hundreds of thousands of websites, books, and people offering their tips and advice.I've personally read and heard a lot of this advice, but what I think is the most helpful when it comes to dating isn't giving and getting prescriptions -- it's asking and answering questions.9) Do you ever feel yourself needing to change (even just downplay) things about yourself?This is one that you really need to pay attention to because it happens subtly.
Why: Helps you plan future dates but also gives you an opportunity to choose not to pursue dating someone who has very incompatible food preferences from you. Purchase my book The Anxiety Toolkit You can get an email alert whenever Dr Alice Boyes writes a new blog article - Subscribe.
If you try to be too careful with what you say, this is likely to backfire.
Why: Whatever you're really passionate about, do they respect it? If you jump to an assumption that they have the same politics as you, they might feel too awkward to say that their politics are different. To take some of the pressure off during first dates, remind yourself: (a) that you each have 50% of the responsibility for how the conversation flows, and (b) you can only control how someone reacts to you to a limited extent.
On a first date go for a friendly tone rather than an intimate tone when asking this question. Don’t be afraid to change plans if you arrive at a restaurant and find it’s too noisy for a good conversation.
Why: This shows you're considerate of other people's comfort. Why: If they still live with their Mom or they live with 10 roommates, this tells you something about how they like to live.