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I began to wonder if we could saw the top off the tree, but what kind of Feng Shui nightmare would it be setting us up for? The delivery guys basically stuffed it in the corner and scrammed before I could figure out my yuletide tree rights and ask to exchange it. The Blanche in me wanted to just disappear into a hot bath and fantasy. I had a film project that I had commissioned that was usurped from me, and I had to go to legal battle over another situation.Staying buoyant through out it all was the biggest challenge and this was done purely for the sake of my two daughters.

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My little daughter Charlotte started running through the devastated garden screaming "savages, savages! A few days before Christmas, after much grumbling, I gathered my girls in my little Prius, (alas the days of the Tundra -driving -wild -man- boyfriend have vanished), and drove to the Christmas tree lot.

What contributed to this mild depression was the feeling of being completely alone in a world where truly to survive means you have to be tough.

I think this last year, at the age of 40, I finally grew up.

Music has been my salvation in this purgatory: Bon Iver, Oumou Sangare (Incredible African singer) and recently Bryan Ferry have been the soul food I've been living off of.

Artists are what are "getting me through the night." Thanks Bryan Ferry.

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