Women and online dating
“I’m relieved I hadn’t met up with him or told him identifying information about myself.”As strange as her experience felt, Tweten realized after swapping stories with friends that it wasn’t that unusual: For many women, oddly aggressive, sometimes threatening interactions with men are an all-too-familiar feature of Internet dating.
The man reads this as you having incredibly high expectations and reliance on your relationship for your happiness. If you wouldn’t say it on your first date, don’t write it in your profile. Women in their 40s, 50s and beyond are particularly guilty of this.
At least, as far as one can tell from Tinder: He was a coffee-loving “urban adventurer” from the Midwest and an entrepreneur who walked dogs on the side. So when Nathan (not his real name) matched with Alexandra Tweten, a 28-year-old woman living in Los Angeles, she was eager to start chatting. “It could have been my exact profile,” says Tweten.
In his free time, he could be found digging through all the right vinyl genres: indie rock, shoegaze, electronic, and new age.
But while she acknowledges that online dating can turn scary, she encourages women to counteract the nastiness—whether through exposure, humor, or other means—without taking the whole thing too seriously.
“These are the same people that go on racist tirades on You Tube videos about kittens,” she says. You have to recognize that people are often saying those things out of self-hatred.